Rebound Flings
Posted: Thursday, January 21, 2010
by D.E. Boone
Legs Talk
Your good friend just broke up with a long-term partner, and within a week or two, your friend is dating someone who is plainly all wrong for them. It's one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships - it is called rebound dating.
The thought of rebound relationships is so embedded into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for someone new after a breakup. There's something to be said for getting back in the saddle. However, choosing a partner when your judgment is fogged will do more harm than good. If you want to get over your ex, there are better ways to do it.
More often than not, we just fail to see the friendship and look for someone to fill the gap and distract us from the fact that our heart's just been broken. But a broken heart may not in the best condition to engage in romance. In fact, jumping right in another relationship is probably not a good thing. In many cases, it may be better to find a social time-filler that doesn't entail romance.
Maintain your standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who's all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safeguard. If the person you're thinking about dating is less nice , less intelligent, less anything that you'd normally want - stay away.
Beware
When we look for someone to rebound with, we usually need someone fast. We don't have time to "waste" looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to latch on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a co-worker, or your neighborhood bartender. If you find yourself falling for someone you've never been the least bit attractedto before, stop and think about what's really going on here.
Take time for yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends - that's friends - not lovers. There's a difference. Try to get involved in something you've always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don't sit around yearning for your ex or drowning your sorrow in booze.
Take it Easy.
Even if you are not crying into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel like crap. It may be best not to start any key projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself and do something you enjoy like skiing or bowling.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a tragedy. If you're lucky, you'll have a fun fling. Remember, if you do decide to pursue a rebound relationship, make sure you've taken a little off by yourself and you're not lowering your standards. Do not date the first creep who comes along. If you follow the above advice you can avoid rebound dates gone wrong.
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